Funny Mother's Day Sayings

• "The worst feature of a new baby is its mother's singing." - Kin Hubbard
• "You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you Can't Fool Mom." - Captain Penny
• "My mother tried to kill me when I was a baby. She denied it. She said she thought the plastic bag would keep me fresh." - Bob Monkhouse
• "If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?" - Milton Berle
• "Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young." - Anonymous
• "Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said." - Anonymous
• "Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up." - Anonymous
• "If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning." - Aristotle Onassis
• "Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?" - Rita Rudner
• "When women go wrong, men go right after them." - Mae West.
• "An archaeologist is best husband a woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her." -Agatha Christie
• "Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good? Luckily, this is not difficult." - Charlotte Whitton.
• "A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's. That's because she changes it more often." - Oliver Hereford
• "What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce." - Mark Twain.
• "Last week I stated that this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister and now wish to withdraw that statement." - Mark Twain.
• "Despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, I have not yet been able to answer the great question that has never been answered: What does a woman want?" -Sigmund Freud