Funny Mother's Day Quotes

• "I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them." - Phyllis Diller
• "There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it." -Chinese Proverb
• "It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman, twenty minutes to make a fool of him." - Helen Rowland
• "The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found." - Calvin Trillin
• "A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car for ever after." - Peter De Vries
• "All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his." - Oscar Wilde
• "Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life." ~ Author Unknown
• "Any mother could perform the jobs of several air-traffic controllers with ease." - LisaAlther
• "My mother had to send me to the movies with my birth certificate, so that I wouldn't have to pay the extra fifty cents that the adults had to pay."- KareemAbdul-Jabbar
• "My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it." - Buddy Hackett
• "My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance." - Tim Allen
• "When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway." - Erma Bombeck
• "As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied." - Oscar Wilde